He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
