my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
