Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
