By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so explain again why im purple
no
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
