Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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