I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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