im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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