just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
