I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
