Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
