Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
