some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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