Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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