): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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