They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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