i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
