you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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