she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
