Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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