Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
