so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
