there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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