Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
