I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
