The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My feet surprised me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
