I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
