I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We are all done wearing pants today
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
