I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
