woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
