I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
