I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize