I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
