There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
