woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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