i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
