i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
