I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
