Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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