Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
