I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
