There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize