I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
