I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize