I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
