I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
