We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize