Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
