so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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