Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
