I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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