maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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