i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
