if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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