is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
