I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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