Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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