Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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