Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
