I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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