She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
