I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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