Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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