So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
